It confuses me still
And it confuses me still,
That practiced pause in your argument.
The sudden switch to voiced concern
To check that I am focused and ok -
Ok to let you continue telling me when, and where,
We were standing the first time you doubted.
How you felt the first time you loved another -
And another -
And another -
And came home to tell me why you had to feel and do.
Because,
I was not doing more
To make you feel like you were part of a whole.
And how I should breathe deeper to smell the scent of their skin
And the Dutch courage it took to allow yourself that release.
About how I should feel guilt
and blame only myself,
Because I made you do this.
Because I get caught in a word or a phrase
And I think I'm doing better at holding us together.
Until you pause to make sure
I'm
Listening
To
Hear
How I should take the blame today.
© LattejunkieNZ 2018
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I try to reply to as many as I can either here or by email. <3 LJx