This is about you...

And it's about me. And them. And anyone else I forgot.

The media is full of coverage of Nigella and her husband. It's full of rhetoric and rumour. It's full of shit.

There are so many ways to convince yourself that what is happening behind your doors is ok. Or normal. Or just that one time. There are many ways to pretend that it's not that bad because he's not hitting you or because he's just hitting you or it's not really rape because you're married.

There are so many ways to excuse his behaviour. Or her behaviour. The perpetrator/abuser's behaviour can be talked away and the victim's behaviour can be vilified.

There are so, so many ways to find yourself deeper in the trap. Enmeshed in family, status, need, desire to not fail, to be seen as ok...

There are so many ways to muzzle yourself. To hide from the truth. To not ask your friend if they need help. To be more than a bystander.

But there is also only one thing you can do - you can build up the courage to say something. To your friend. To her family. To his family. To the police. To your partner. To your child.

Be brave.

Be braver than you are now. It takes bravery to make it through the abuse. But it takes a little more to end it.

And remember that sometimes you just never had the opportunity to know it was as bad as it was until you leave.

Take courage in your bravery and know that you are never as alone as you think you are.