Yesterday, I opened a veritable Pandora's box of memories. Cards from my wedding, old friends, careers past, photographs, love letters and sentimental things I forgot I kept.
It was hard to look at them. It was hard to hold them and put them in piles - Mine, His and Bin... They were reminders of the great things that I have done. The places I have been, the people I have been blessed to know. But it still hurt. But not for the reasons I thought it would. It hurt because of the unknown that lies ahead.
It is scary to think that the shared history is over and that I am now forging a new history. That I don't know where I'm headed. The security of a marriage is quite tangible once you're not in it... It's like I can see the bubble of safety around my friends and I am envious.
But now is the time to look at those memories and keep the special ones safe for Monkey. It is the time to make an effort to start making new memories. To build up another box to take out in fifteen years to look at and hopefully just smile and have any tears be ones of happy memories, not sadness for a past long gone and a future that is no longer mine. Because there is no point in missing what is already gone; it's a waste of now and what I can be doing at this very moment to fill my next box.
youll be fine <3
ReplyDeleteIll be praying you will be
I remember those times sorting stuff out
Must have been tough - but it sounds like you have the best way of looking at it and I'm sure will have plenty of good memories in a box after the next 10 years or so. Big hugs x
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