Things I have learnt in the past 4 weeks.

1. Separation in NZ lasts two years. You cannot get divorced before then unless you can categorically prove the wedding/marriage was forced.
    
2. It is hard to get a lawyer. Very hard, if you are a SAHM. If you can settle on something on your own. Do.
   
3. No amount of visitation will ever seem right.
   
4. It's hard to wallow when you have a four year old.
   
5. Your dearest friends know just what to say and do.
   
6. Crying in your living room in the dark, is strangely therapeutic.
   
7. You can't force yourself to change your feelings towards someone, no matter what they do or say.
   
8. If you are looking at getting support in the form of a benefit - there are places that are there to tell you exactly what you can claim and how to do it. They are not called WINZ...
   
9. You can physically feel your heartbreaking. It can break over and over again.
   
10. No matter what I feel, I can always be positive about Captain Awesome to Monkey. Even when I am curled up in a ball and sobbing.
    
11. I have very little confidence in myself.