I have never really liked Christmas - I always felt badly for those who were alone or had lost someone during the year.
This year, I am very mindful that we lost my Grandpa last year on Christmas Day in SA (Boxing Day - our time). I feel terrible that my mom is going through the first anniversary alone. I sent her special presents so that she would feel like we were there with her but I still feel guilty.
We have our tree all lit up, presents are underneath it. The windows have snowflakes on them even though we're in the middle of Summer. The house smells of pine tree and from tomorrow it will smell of home baking. But still I feel like there is something missing.
That I won't be able to be with my mum for the tenth Christmas in a row.
That I miss Linnie and Shell like it's not even funny.
That I feel slightly lost this week.
It's not feeling much like Christmas...
I can totally relate to this. I love Christmas and seeing how excited my son is and catching up with family I don't usually see. But there is always this sadness I feel around Christmas time because of the people who I can't spend it with or the people who are feeling even worse because they don't get to have a special safe loving Christmas. It will be over soon xo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you lost your grandpa last year :-(. Have to be honest that I can't stop thinking of parents we've met through my daughter's journey who either lost their children or whose kids are currently on borrowed time.
ReplyDeleteI'll think of you during this time too!
I've never really been a Christmasy type of gal, although I'm forcing it upon myself now that I have a child. The times I have felt most alone in my life has been around Christmas as I watch others being all merry and full of cheer.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well and hope you enjoy the pine smells, baked goodies and watching your child rip wrapping paper on Xmas day.
Lien
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