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I have come to the realisation (again - I am a slow learner sometimes!) that I am wasting moments that I will never have again with Monkey.
While I wait to (magically) look good in a bathing costume, he is growing up and, too soon, won't want to swim with me.
Because in all honesty - I am more likely to get a doctorate in advanced nuclear science than look the way I think/feel I should look in a bather.
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It didn't help my resolve to accept that the mere fact that I want to swim with my son is enough when the websites I trawled yesterday had pictures like these from my favourite bra manufacturer. Pictures that made my cellulited thighs quiver in fear and dismay... Well... I think they were, I can't see them over my mummy-overhang.
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Even the models I've used for illustrations don't look plus-sized to me. In my opinion, they have an enviable body, they have curves and look like they enjoy food but have a better handle on moderation and exercise than I do.
It was disheartening and made me feel like I should just give up my search. I felt like I was hoping for too much. But in deciding that wanting to swim and paddle about with my son was enough reason to get a new bather. That it would be enough for him to have me in the pool with him. That he doesn't need me to be in a bikini, he needs me to be in the pool!
I am enough for him!
And this morning I went out and bought this... It is enough for me - I love it.
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| From www.ts14plus.com.au |
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Go you! I haven't wear a swimsuit in ages but yes those women looks amazing in their curves isn't? But I'm sure you'll look great in your new swimsuit :D
ReplyDeleteGood for you. You are absolutely right. you will never get this time back and no one judges us as harshly as we judge ourselves.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time with your boy while you can because he will remember you for being with him and doing things with him.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. Your post reminded me a bit of that song Sproetjies - remember that one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSuUyj75f-0
ReplyDeleteI think if you saw yourself through your son's eyes, you would see that you are the most beautiful amazing person!
Good for you! Your son will be so happy to have you join him. And I'm so happy to meet another woman with curves still willing to wear a swim suit.
ReplyDeleteWay to go girl! He will be SO happy! And you will have fun too! ;)
ReplyDeleteBest,
Tina
Bathing suits are so very tough to wear, so personal and make us feel so vulnerable. I remember these same feelings and I actually came to the same conclusion as you. It is about our children. There memories of us putting ourselves out there will be their richest ones. Thank you for linking up. Visiting from JBE Laverne
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I know it is hard to feel comfortable in your own skin. I hope you love your new suit and you rock it!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! This is such a great post and your son has an awesome Mum.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I don't mind wearing the swimsuit nearly as much as I do trying to find the "perfect suit." There really is a perfect suit out there for everyone... its just getting through trying on ALL the bad suits first that is a struggle. Your suit looks great ;) Have fun swimming with your son!
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