Just being enough Pt1

Usual Disclaimer applies - don't read if easily offended, easily worried, easily pissed off etc etc...

Growing up I don't think I was ever aware of being enough. I was very often too much of something. Often they would contradict each other but they still applied. I wonder now, if knowing then that I was enough it would have changed the way I see myself.

From my earliest memories I was/am:

Too quiet

Too reserved/shy 

Too clever to be getting below 90%

Too good at public speaking - I was too good at talking in public so I narrated every nativity play from the time I was eight. Never did get to be Mary.

Too noisy.

Too demanding

Too selfish

Too secretive

Too worried about protecting my mum

Too easily embarrassed

Too fat

Too day-dreamy

Too friendly

Too ready to trust my gut feelings

Too judgmental

By the time I reached university I could add:

Too good at languages to be able to be a mediocre student

Too easy 

Too argumentative

Too challenging

Too loud

Too inquiring

Too insecure

Too easily embarrassed

Too fat

Too concerned about not hurting others or worrying them

Now I am

Too worried about Monkey

Too free-range

Too determined to do a good job of motherhood

Too intimidating

Too much of a pushover

Too caring

Too open

Too sharing

Too selfish

Too untidy

Too ungrateful

Too helicopter-mum

Too demanding of my husband

Too lax with my friendships

Too strict

Too flexible

Too rigid

Too loud

Too stubborn

Too concerned with what other people think

Too focused on the negative

Too far away.

Anyone reading this know me from way back then? Got anything to add?

Now to work on being. enough.