Pre-baby - you compared clothing, shoes, housing, car, religion, music etc etc but you found a common ground and you got along great.
Now, even when Bubs isn't little anymore and is going to music or playgroup or the park or beach etc etc, you still meet new people through theirb babies. No longer do you have the luxury of finding out about the adults, it's always about the babies.
And, boy, does that suck...
This is how it starts:
Monkey is playing and squealing with delight, the other kids are unsure but eventually won over. Mums stand around like dorks until, some one starts talking...
Guaranteed first five questions/topics:
- Age?
- Name?
- Sleeping?
- Feeding?
- Milestones and when?
And thus begins the downward spiral of competing. And even when you think you're not competing and are just venting/sharing, the other mother is making notes and comparing your child and theirs. And admittedly in five minutes time the roles are reversed.
It's a vicious cycle and I wish I knew how to stop it. Even if you are really good friends with the mother and you love the kid... you still sigh in relief when they do something silly/naughty/odd and your child hasn't/wouldn't/couldn't do it.
The most sensible mothers I know do it. The least sensible do it. EVERYONE does it and if you say you don't -
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!
You could ask them what they do for a living... then stand around feeling sheepish when they say they're a SAHM (feeling like a horrible person for leaving your precious baby in someone else's care while you work).
ReplyDeleteYou could ask them what music/movies/tv they like and then see the panic in their eyes as they find a way to get away from the crazy stalker chick as fast as possible.
You could talk about the weather and how good the coffee from the corner cafe is, but that only lasts a minute before awkward silence descends again...
Sleep and baby bowel movements it is! :P
Tanya - pretty much... although as a SAHM who doesn't buy into all the dance class, drama, art class etc hype - I get an odd look when I say we only go to a music group...And "is it an organic cafe" gets really old really fast!
ReplyDeleteYou are a rockstar mum!